Two Uzis are making Chuck Norris very sad

"I'm don't know how they expect me to do my shirt up if they want me to hold these two guns all day. It's very cold and I would very much prefer my shirt to be done up all the way."

Chuck Norris Is Very Sad

"This glove's really very tight. I've asked for a new glove but nobody listened. I'm going to be very uncomfortable for the rest of the day and nobody even cares."