Chuck Norris Is Sad Because He Has Something In His Eye

"Ow, my eye."

Chuck Norris Is Sad And Angry At The Same Time

"WHY DID YOU SAY THAT WHEN YOU KNEW IT WOULD HURT ME?"

Chuck Norris Is So Sad He Cuts Himself

"It's the only way I can feel anything any more."

Chuck Norris Is Very Sad Because He Always Has To Carry The Biggest Gun

"I always have to carry the big gun and it's really heavy and hard to carry They told me that Jack carried the big gun last time but I know that that wasn't true because I tripped over a rock and dropped it on my foot and everybody laughed last time. I don't want to carry the big gun! I wonder what they'd say if I fell over and died. I bet they wouldn't care."

Chuck Norris Is Very Sad About Prisoners of War

"This gun will never fire enough bullets to rescue every prisoner of war in the world. It's all so very futile."

Chuck Norris is Very Sad about Top Dog

"It's cancer, Top Dog. There's nothing they can do. I'm going to have to shoot you. With this gun. I'm sorry, Top Dog."

The Lone Wolf is very sad

"David Carradine told me to stand next to this post and wait, and that was three hours ago! Where is he? I really want a wee."

Two Uzis are making Chuck Norris very sad

"I'm don't know how they expect me to do my shirt up if they want me to hold these two guns all day. It's very cold and I would very much prefer my shirt to be done up all the way."

Chuck Norris Is Very Sad

"This glove's really very tight. I've asked for a new glove but nobody listened. I'm going to be very uncomfortable for the rest of the day and nobody even cares."