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"I always have to carry the big gun and it's really heavy and hard to carry They told me that Jack carried the big gun last time but I know that that wasn't true because I tripped over a rock and dropped it on my foot and everybody laughed last time. I don't want to carry the big gun! I wonder what they'd say if I fell over and died. I bet they wouldn't care."
"This gun will never fire enough bullets to rescue every prisoner of war in the world. It's all so very futile."
"It's cancer, Top Dog. There's nothing they can do. I'm going to have to shoot you. With this gun. I'm sorry, Top Dog."
"David Carradine told me to stand next to this post and wait, and that was three hours ago! Where is he? I really want a wee."
"I'm don't know how they expect me to do my shirt up if they want me to hold these two guns all day. It's very cold and I would very much prefer my shirt to be done up all the way."
"This glove's really very tight. I've asked for a new glove but nobody listened. I'm going to be very uncomfortable for the rest of the day and nobody even cares."
